Allow Yourself Happiness

How far can one dwell in an alternate reality and diverge into a fiction of what is proven viable reality?

Perhaps one finds a thrill in misery and such ominous thrill does not allow pure happiness. Hoping that the want to have something greater than what is claimed worthy of elation will someday engulf the void that has been created.

Living in your mind creates a cocoon for yourself. That is why we can’t solemnly live off ourselves. But when you find only the thrill of morphing because it is what you’ve known conscientiously to do, then it is when you must decide if you are truly ready to emerge from within yourself. Alas, do not blind yourself. Do not wrap yourself in such troubles because that will be all you ever see.

With all due honesty, if help be needed to release you from your binds, call out… someone will come. We all have ears, but not all may have an unfathomable coffin to allow for more to settle there within them. Do guard yourself, but do not tyrannize your own prosperity.

What Is This?

I'd like to begin something I'd never really plan out this way. I'm just going to write and let my imagination loose. After so many years of just thinking, its time to let those thoughts out and see what happens.

Nothing is right. Nothing is wrong. Whatever I do is just what I do the way I know how to. I'm still learning and still messing up but I will progress forward, hopefully for the better. For now I just want to share what I've captured from my thoughts and experiences in words. 

I Found My Rainbow

Under all those stormy clouds and heavy tears from above, there is a brighter place. That moment when the light just peeks through the spaces between the clouds. The ponderous damp air that feels almost as similar as the time after a night of unladed sobbing. Then the sky with its old gray thinning hair. After that you begin to appraise what lays beyond this cocoon of a world we are in. Even if it hurts to look straight at rays emanating from the sphere of light, it still amazes me. The way it reflects and invites itself back into the earth is mesmerizing.What it then creates with just the right setting is a mystical array of faded, gradated colors. A spectrum of light which we call “rainbow”. It bends in just a way that seems to be completely attached to the earth. What it brings is much more than the view of it. It’s a symbol, a passing of the storm, a chance for the best to come, a path. So when I’m out in the middle of nowhere waiting for the rain to subside, I find you. A rainbow.

The Thrill of Writing

Writing is putting thoughts delicately and in an orderly manner to communicate a message, a feeling, a sentiment, an adventure, an image, or simply a thought. To organize your thought processes is to write.

If Life Is a Stage

I try not to do. Its an ongoing battle; a rustle and tussle between myself and I. Sometimes all I want to do is to let the water fall. I hate it. Its like an ocean with different waves each time. If not a wave, its a storm. I try to make it disappear. To wash away but at times not even I can help myself out. I need reassurance. I look around desperately, trying to find an answer that doesn't have a problem to solve completely. "There is simply nothing" is what I hear. Lies because they are compulsive. Dark tormented untruths that try to haunt me constantly. And I'm afraid. I feel complete, but it terrifies me to loose it all. One slip, one rip, one break, just one can have me falling. I have fallen before, and tripped countless times, but I still move. I drag myself in pieces to a safe spot and try not to move while I heal slowly,achingly, but surely. Though it never heals as it was before, it becomes deformed. And yet, I live. I survive. I conquer. Its like a game, gaining life experience points but with the perks of obtaining wisdom. Even after a storm, disaster remains. I'll admit, I do need support in repairing the wreckage and maybe try to recuperate what's been lost. Yet it seems as though the waterfall will never fill the shallow space beneath, as I am still extant. But alas, I'm at the drop off ready to plunge into this new found pool of rumbling waters.